Not-so-good-and-old "How do you feel" thread

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Villain said:
Oh, I just have to ask, what anime-series were you talking about?

Full Metal Alchemist, episode 25. I've never really watched anime before...I guess I'll have to check out some, good thing some of my friends are really into it.
 
Caelestia said:
@Siren: You should! People like that need to be put in their place. A bitchslapping would be great but that would be unladylike :p
Theoretically i wouldn't mind punching them silly, nevermind about the ladylikeness of it all.
But the times i should have acted accordingly, i was merely stunned by their attitude, ie i couldn't believe such attitude could ever exist, and i would never imagine myself acting in a similar way, so i just swallowed it and was very frustrated and hurt about it..
But now that i've started realizing that not all people are good-hearted and some of them do actually mean harm, i do think they deserve a straightforward and equal attitude that will put them in their place.
 
NF - it's a mix of nice things. an aunt died today. i got final confirmation on the failing of one exam, while passing all others, but just the one i didn't pass was the really important one (oh, the irony); and finally i'm hopelessly in love for some time already, and she keeps telling me about marriage, bringing up a family and all that... with her current boyfriend. which obviously isn't me.
so overall everything is fucked up beyond all recognition. and worst of all, i don't feel anything. i don't even feel down.
 
Siren said:
But the times i should have acted accordingly, i was merely stunned by their attitude, ie i couldn't believe such attitude could ever exist, and i would never imagine myself acting in a similar way, so i just swallowed it and was very frustrated and hurt about it..
What happened exactly? I was hurt yet outraged and the rage won. Alas, I'm still too nice to inflict physical pain upon someone, as deserving as they are of it.

@Mal: Argh :erk:
 
@Cael: i don't want to get into it, so i'll just say that in one case i could never think people could be so straightforward in saying very mean things in your face and in front of lots of other people, without you really having done anything bad at them. In another case, i just could never think people could be so manipulative and meaning harm*, yet so good at appearing like the victims (edit: that even you fall for it at first).

*and doing harm

@Mal: you'll pull through this, be strong. *hugs*
 
Rusty: You weren't that far, as those things will probably mean very little at some point anyways. To me those things include (at the moment): anime, DT and role-playing games (in no particular order). I wouldn't exchange any of them to some love right now. Perhaps some day in the future I might, but certainly not at the moment. My main point is: Love is not any more or less necessary than a multitude of other things in life. If your life feels empty because there's not love in it, find something else instead.

Then again, perhaps I am here the one who doesn't know what he's talking about. My perception of the general overvaluation of love might be just my own undervaluation of it. But I have always valued caring, that's for sure.

Caelestia said:
Ohh, describe it please? I must watch it now but I don't know where to find it.
Hmm, okay. However, as this might possibly spoil much of the series, I'll try to make it invisible. If you don't mind spoiling yourself, "paint" the below text with your mouse and it should become visible.

A major Now and Then, Here and There anime-series spoiler below:

First of all, the whole series is about children amidst a war. Some of them are forced to be child-soldiers, fighting and killing to stay alive. They are also forced to capture other kids, so that they can be trained to become soldiers as well. Most of the kids take excessive amounts of abuse throughout the series: they get beaten, tortured and even raped. It is not visually too explicit (the whole series is done very tastefully), but the traumatic mental effects are clearly visible in some of the characters afterwards.

It might sound like a horribly cruel series, but even though there are many scenes like that, there are also scenes that show how cabable the human animal can be to overcome extreme pain and suffering. The hope in the story comes from a few of the children, who are yet pure enough not to hate. A certain important side-character is a small and quiet girl, who waits for her father to return to their home. His father has died in the war, but no-one dares to tell it to the little girl. Thus, every morning she goes out to wait for her father to return, filled with hope. And every evening she comes back alone, saddened. There's also a little quiet boy, the smallest soldier in his unit, who tries to do his best to help his bigger brethren - because if one of them fails, everyone might get punished. He also adores some of them, trying his best to become as strong as they are. Still, as he is the weakest of them, not many of them like or care about him at all. He is also very scared for the most of time.

Now, in episode 12 (the second-to-last episode) the war has reached the home-village of the little girl, and amidst the turmoil she decides to try to save her friends - and takes with her a gun, a rifle that is of the same size as her tiny body. And she ends up shooting the little boy with that rifle and gets killed immediately after that.

Perhaps it is just me, but I find that scene so extremely sad that I'm nearly crying right now. They both show such courage, such bravery, yet everytime I watch it, I wish they wouldn't do it.

Seeing this scene (and Now and Then, Here and There as a whole) finally defined me what the word catharsis truly means. The strange sensation that comes after watching it feels better than any orgasm I've ever had (to corroborate in a way with what I wrote above to Rusty).
Needless to say, only a very few scenes in any movies, series or plays has such a big effect on me.

Overall, NTHT is a great series, but it certainly isn't for everyone.


-Villain

 
Villain said:
Rusty: You weren't that far, as those things will probably mean very little at some point anyways. To me those things include (at the moment): anime, DT and role-playing games (in no particular order). I wouldn't exchange any of them to some love right now. Perhaps some day in the future I might, but certainly not at the moment. My main point is: Love is not any more or less necessary than a multitude of other things in life. If your life feels empty because there's not love in it, find something else instead.
You forgot to mention your hat as well. :/

Okay, I do see what you mean now. I have thought like that before, or somewhere along those lines, though even when I've had those things I've not felt quite complete either. And right now I'm in a stage of "what the fuck do those things matter if you haven't got love?", even though I couldn't begin to explain why I feel like that right now. Of course it might turn out that love isn't the answer either, though I don't expect to find out either way, and what I actually need is a really nice set of curtains. Or something. Ah who knows. :p

NF: I wish my mother would stop trying to make me go for every job in sight and just leave me alone to try and work out what I want for a while. *sigh* And still not good enough, second-best as usual.
 
@ All -
Thanks to everyone who share things that are most personal in Their lives -
It makes me feel a closeness to the Forum Members -
My heart goes out to all of You - and it makes my problems seen so insignificant-
I know advice is easy to give and what happened in the past is difficult to forget -

"Yesterday is gone and tomorrow never comes"
 
NF: Lonely. Plenty of good friends, all great people.. yet i don't feel particularly close to any of them. I don't feel like i'm actually a part of anyone's life.. which makes me rather disposable yet again. But, it seems i was disposable even when i was a very important part of someone's life so i guess it doesnt make a difference.

There are some steps i have to take in this real life thing that i've needed to take for years now, yet i still remain unsure of exactly how to go about it. I found one pathway to help me out in big ways, but it didin't end up as planned and probably set me back in many ways. I think in a bit of time i will gain something from the whole experience though.

I'm not a person to think way into the future, generally i have one next goal that can be achieved in weeks or months, and beyond that i have no aims. So i finished my uni degree, then i got a job, then i went to finland for a short holiday... now i'm home and wondering what my next goal is. I think it has to do with my music, but i'm fumbling around in my mind wondering what of my many aims is the next one i actually really work towards. I'd like to get a band together again, would be good for me in many ways but would be a lot of effort. Realistically i'm probably better off to finish off the three solo-project albums i have going and get them released somehow.. but that's very time consuming. At the moment i'm looking through some designs for an album cover, and there's some very promising ideas amongst them :)

Still not sure how to feel about my trip overall. I might sit down and contemplate that today..
 
@villain: how important things are is rather subjective, give or take a few statistical landmarks. how important everything is is also subjective, with some influence on the general stance of a person towards his/her life.

broadly speaking, defining anything as a carrier of all meaning in one's life is the stuff obsessions are made. focusing all your efforts on finding - say - love and neglecting role-playing games is bound to make you unbalanced and weak. on the other hand, if nothing means much, the subject is lost to apathy and self-destructive instincts.

i still wouldn't put a sentimental life and your hat on the same level, and not just because your hat would easily outshadow my sentimental life of the past three years. the former has implications that extend to sometimes encompass a large part of your life experience. other things do: helping famine-stricken populations in south africa; becoming a neurosurgeon; taking care of dark tranquillity fans.
you'll forgive me if i'm not selfless enough to pick any of the above against a sentimental life: i do like to help others, but it's stronger with those i know and appreciate, which i think it's what a sentimental life should (also) be about.

in the light of eternity, whether i find love or your hat, villain, doesn't really matter a lot. but i'm forsaken by the light of eternity: it simply doesn't want anything to do with me. so for as long as i'm in the slumbering half-darkness of the temporary and the fragile, i'll either look for love (sorry for the hat, it was admittedly a pretty nice hat) or give up completely and sulk, in the belief that some things are more important than others, and that it's not exactly the same that i'm left here holding your hat.
 
NF: TIRED!!!!
Haven't sleep in soooo long, ARGGHHHH!!!
hmm, its 4:17 am at the moment, isn't that the name of an album?
 
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