im sitting here listening to skeletonwitch and thinking about finding one of those amish colonies where they believe if you take their picture you capture their soul.
id go find a hottie and snap a few shots and tell her if she wants her soul back she has to come with me for 3 weeks.
why 3 weeks you ask? well if im gonna do this she is going to be hair free from the neck down. 3 weeks should be enough time for her to learn proper razor technique and for the redness to disappear.
then when shes smooth enough i will initiate the plan. the plan is to strip her down, have her pee in a pie dish and set it on the floor.then she will get into the doggie style position where i will then take her from behind while she slurps the pee.while doing this i will put a laddel in her butt. i will shift this laddle like i would my truck every time i change speeds.
after that she will then serve me chili from this laddle while it is still in her butt.
then i will free her.