Not-so-good-and-old "How do you feel" thread

[La Rocque]

Just got the news that my Mom has leukemia -
The doctor says She should be fine,as it was found early ???
Started Her treatments today -

 

[Taliesin]

Hey Mag, what's up?
And La Rocque, I wish your mom and your family all the best and that it was indeed found early. But I think he's right so she'll be fine

 

[necromancy]

@La Rocque : I hope your mom will be fine!!!

 

[Caelestia]

@Rocque: Hope your mum will be okay.

NF:

Was out for 12 hrs. My friend and I met this seemingly nice 'Italian' guy who wanted to tag along. Turns out he's from Jordan but moved to Italy some years back and he's pretty superficial and almost scary: he has an obsession for Chinese girls (as in that's the only type he will date). Still, he was interesting company and kept me from falling asleep till about 7am and I was ready to pass out. I had only 3 hrs of sleep the night before. But yep, I had fun. HAPPY MERDEKA DAY!

 

[YaYo]

@La Rocque: Sorry to hear, i'm glad that they caught it early and things look like they'll work out ok. Still not the easiest thing to have going on i don't imagine :/ Best of luck for everything

 

[Wolfman Von Jones]

Hope your mom is alright La Rocque, good that it was caught early.

NF: Fine, eating the first meal I've had since I've been awake are 1:38 in the morning.

Nick

 

[hyena]

nf: slightly hungover. better than i anticipated tho. i'm extra late for work and my last messages from last night didn't get ANY reply. i'm on the verge of becoming a serial killer.

 

[Lolita Vampiriá]

NF: shitty.. I've been having back pain for 1½ weeks now and it's not getting any better. I wake up every night in terrible back pain, I can't sit for long either, all I want to do is sleep. Wtf's wrong with my back. :/

 

[rahvin]

and my last messages from last night didn't get ANY reply. i'm on the verge of becoming a serial killer.

i don't think your messages from last night were so earth-shattering or dreadful. if he didn't reply that's probably because he's read into them what you read into them, but that doesn't mean this is the only thing that can be read into them, or that the level of openness was sky-high. i think this comes from yesterday's drunken perception of events. let me clarify (afterwards i'll have to rant as well, but for now i feel like giving ):

the issue with interpreting a string of words is not generally based on the possible implications, but on the necessary implications. in other words, semantics only come into play when when all else fails fails.

texting someone with the line: "i have some ideas about what we could do tonight" has next to no necessary implications of the semantic kind. it has a range of possible implications of the sort, and obviously in a relationship were codes of sexual conduct are not defined such possible implications can be hazardous (to your health, mostly), but it doesn't pin you down to the lab table. it's not even about the fact that you could have meant "i'd like to play chess" (if i hear a joke about jumping the queen i smash your phone, i swear), it's the lack of a necessary marker for the meaning of that line which absolves you.
clearly the necessary implication is of the psychological kind: assuming you're not a blonde idiot you knew about all of the possible implication and necessarily you didn't mind. in much the same way, he knows about all of the possible implications, and necessarily he doesn't mind. unless he stops talking to you or something, which i find rather unlikely.

but if you want my honest opinion in the wake of my darkest days (and introducing even darker days, i'm sure), all this slashing and parrying from the security of your cellphones is like tossing pointy objects in a pit: it just makes it harder to jump in once you're actually ready to. i'm almost convinced he's a boring scumbag, but if he's the boring scumbag you want now, i'll go get him for you.

 

[Human Desert]

NF: So sorry for someone. Losing pets = teh suck

 

[YaYo]

NF: Tired of how things end up..

And im tired in the 'sleepy' sense of the word too, my ability to sleep seems to be getting worse.

At work today i noticed all our names were written on a whiteboard, mine and another guys on the top circled with everyone else listed below.. i was then told it's because "youre one of the good ones".. apparently that means they assign me to the hard stuff and i get it done. At least i have no job worries, i could do so much better if i wanted, but i dont care and thankfully it seems im in no danger of anything bad happening there..

This song is amazing.. fuck

 

[Caelestia]

NF: weak and stupid. i have a sore throat.

 

[Rusty]

NF: I have a sore, painful, and aching just about everything, though I don't know why. It feels like I ran a long way yesterday, when I did fuck all as usual. Odd.

 

[Hiljainen]

NF: headache-y, lightheaded, and my eyes are blacking out every few minutes, this is annoying

 

[rahvin]

now i must say i'm really feeling terrible.

 

[Caelestia]

i'm getting there tempted to make that call...

 

[Hiljainen]

now i must say i'm really feeling terrible.

 

[rahvin]

my boss is going to leave his office for the last time in a matter of minutes.
for many, a boss is just someone to tolerate or a cliched figure, while i honestly admire and like mine. he taught me what to do and how to be good at doing it when i first set foot in this library more than three years ago. it's sad to see him go and sad to think of turning the page. he's getting retired, so that's an act of will and he's happy about it.

on the other hand, i'm feeling terrible and i have dark thoughts about the lack of persistence of people in my life. everyone leaves too soon. my stomach, traditionally upset, is tied in a knot and i can't even take my eyes off the screen to say goodbye: i would break down and cry.

it's always the same, the ones i like move or get retired or more or less anything else you can or cannot imagine so that the comfort of their presence is taken away without hope of returning.

 

[Caelestia]

where's he going to? can't you still see him on occasion? hey i know how you feel. all my best friends moved away but i'm still standing. i'll find more friends, i'll be okay. you will be too. you have us

*hugs*

 

[hyena]

you should all play more rammstein. ha.

seriously: i'm sorry for everyone who feels terrible. rahvin: thanks for the emails you sent me today. i'm about to make a decision. i'll weigh one last round of input from some close people (including you) and then i'll pick fight or flight. as for the "everyone's leaving, and who isn't is not helping much" situation, i wouldn't really know because i'm normally the one who leaves - i have a version that sometimes resembles "everyone is in danger of dying, and who isn't is not helping much" which possibly gives a similar feeling. as you probably already know, the way i react to this exactly consists in going somewhere else entirely. i don't know how you really feel about this (concerning you, not me, obviously): sometimes you seem to project hope in foreign countries and unusual situations just as i do, sometimes you project it in, say, a different professional future in your current location, and sometimes in a mixture of the two. which i occasionally do as well. but the point of this rant is not the similarities between us. what i'm trying (with some difficulty) to say is that actually you do have hope, in the sense that you imagine different futures and believe they might be better for you, as a reaction to the fact that if you (or anyone else) stand still, people around you just go away sooner or later. so don't get too depressed. we need to sit down and work through the possible plans. we will.